I used to chase boy’s, I didn’t even really know I was doing it. It was only in a slightly stalky way, some may say blatantly stalky, but one thing was for sure I was outright desperate. Ouch, this is going to be revealing.
When it comes to chasing boys I did it all. I rocked up to guy’s houses un-announced. One of my earliest stalks in year 12 was right after I got expelled from an all girl’s school. I then went to a mixed gender school and man oh man was it game on.
It was a smorgasbord of guys after total depravation. I developed an obsession for a man with dark endless eyes, I described it back then as being able to jump into them forever. I was also very very shortsighted. Meaning I had to wear thick glasses most of the time.
Any way my parents were out one afternoon and he lived in a suburb about 20 mins drive from me. They left the spare keys for our old orange Volvo and I took no time to decide to drive to his house completely out of the blue. But here’s the thing, in my desperation I somehow didn’t where my glasses while driving and the other small detail was I didn’t have a license, just a leaners license. Minor technicalities when your heart is obsessed for love.
Well I made it there alive and was received with complete shock. It was awkward and strange and though it got me some uncomfortable time alone with my dark eyed man, after that it didn’t go much further.
Looking back through the years the list of chasing is broad ranging and one could say quite creative. I’ve Crossed 2 continents and knocked on an old a primary schools boyfriend’s door hoping it would re-kindle the spark.
I’ve trekked up and down neighborhood streets for hours hoping he would see me and beckon me because this one time he mentioned he liked to go to a coffee shop in that neighborhood. (Incidentally a while later he told me he did see me on the street, but there was no beckoning).
I’ve flown to India and trekked up a big Mountain to Amristar where I found him squatting in an old castle. We then trekked half way back down the mountain together only for him to change his mind and trek back up the mountain to another girl.
I’ve done a lot of trekking in the name of.
I’ve hacked Facebook and appeared at events he said he’d be at, I’ve joined interests groups and educated myself on music that I hated, I’ve made up aliments because he was a shiatsu practitioner, and I REALLY needed a treatment. And then I’ve crossed some more continents only to end up in an old farm house in the mid west of America trapped by snow and living a life that had nothing to do with me, my truth or my passion. Oh how I cringe.
Now the picture is very different. I’ve not chased in many many years. I am happily in love and pregnant in a beautiful house, engaged to a man that I didn’t have to trek, lie, hack or chase. When I met him my whole attitude towards chasing men had changed. I just didn’t do it.
The space I was in before was a surrender and trust. There was space in my head and heart. There was no fear or dread, there was strength and independence plus courage to be on my own path, headed for my own goals.
Whenever your trying to manifest something the big no no’s are the same for love as they are for the manifesting energy.
- Desperation has the opposite effect, it pushes your dreams away
- Looking in all the wrong places is a brother, sister and cousin of desperation. It skews your vision and doesn’t let the natural order of things take over.
- Chasing takes you off your own path and vision. It robs you of your power as you weirdly invest in somebody else’s life without them even benefiting.
- Nobody, not even the universe likes a creep.
- Wasted energy leaves you feeling sad, depleted and lonely, it leads to low self worth.
- Trust is wide open but desperation is contracted. One lets energy come to you, the other pushes it away.
- The thrill of the chase is kind of addictive and one big drama hook. Take this adrenalin and put it where it matters, Find your drama on stage watching someone else, not running in your own drama like a hamster on a wheel endlessly spinning.
I could turn around and apologise to many of the men out there who were chased and stalked, though I’m sure many of them were oblivious or flattered. I don’t regret it. Mostly transformation is what I value above all else. Knowing not what to do is sometimes just as useful as what to do.
To your magical manifestations.
In love
Emma
